I've realized something very important about myself. Whether I get a new job or I happen to be in school or I'm seeing someone...It is all fun and exciting within the first month and a half. After that, I guess you may say, I don't feel challenged? Or perhaps I don't want to focus on one thing for a long time. Regardless, if I can only convince and motivate myself to make it last 3 months and 1 day, then I know I'll do better. I didn't go to la la land the normal way today, I decided to use another method, even better. Today was a day filled with boring duties. I got new tires, got my oil changed
(along with all those additional recommendation that they scare woman with) it actually works. Fuck. After Hana and I inhaled our ways to another time and place, I dropped her off at her place so I could go vote. Unfortunately, when I got to the voting booth, I couldn't recall who was the representative of my party of choice in my area. I placed a check mark next to the name most familiar to me. I drove home pondering where I saw that name before. I parked in the driveway to realize that the name I placed a check mark by happened to be the exact name on the sign on my lawn! And it wasn't my party of choice either!! Gosh, I really did it this time. How can I forgive myself for wasting a vote on a party I am totally against?! Remind me next time to not go voting. Last time I attempted to vote, everything went worong. I was very excited. Very excited until I ended up at a bar, drinking way over my limit and getting my nipple pierced. I probably missed my subway stop 4 times before I was conscience enough to walk off the train. It took me 6 hours to get home from the time I left the bar. I lived only 40 minutes away. My significant other called me 10 minutes ago. He sounded energetic . He said that the two girls from his school who bumped into us on our way to Ritiro on saturday night told everyone how hot and fucken beautiful his girlfriend is. Then he kept repeating the word "girlfriend" He said it sounds so special and wonderful that he could call me his girlfriend. Umm, sure okay.
My professor mentioned something in our lecture tonight that has captured my mind to an extreme intensity.
"The moment you begin to question, you can not stop"
that hit me hard. In my personal life, I've been questioning my significant other's stories, always trying to catch him in a lie. I want to actually stop questioning. If there is no answer for my question, I'll just allow everything to unfold, because the answer will oneday show.
I tried to catch my professor after the lecture. I asked him how I could stop questioning if I've already started ? He said it wasn't appropriate for him to give me an answer infront of other students and that I should personally see him in his office because it requires a discussion. Fuck again.
I read my horoscope today. I was given a complimentary newspaper for getting my oil changed at "Mr Lube". The horoscope was quite interesting actually, it read:
*************************************************************************************
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
CAPRICORN (Dec 22- Jan 20)If you like your current situation, nothing need alter it. But if you are less than ecstatic about it, be re-assured. A process of constructive change has begun.
*************************************************************************************
Makes a lot of fucken sense. Scary.
