Abso-SLutely Whore-Able!

I was just thinking of my single status. I am totally enjoying it. I've realized how much of a pain relationships can really be? Honestly, what's this who constitution of marriage? To spend $100,000 on a wedding, then buy a home, have a child or two, and buy a dog. Then, wait 6 years, have an affair with your boss, get a divorce, joint custody of the children, and let the man keep his best friend (dog). Well if that's how my destiny was set, then I'll do everything in my power to change that. Fuck men, yeah fuck you. I will maybe, if you ask nicely. So anyhow, I thought in what ways in 6 weeks from now can I make the most of my piercing? Well, of course there is me, but then there must be another. I'm straight, so woman are out of the question. Men. Yeah those fuckers. I'll need one. Just purely on the JFS (just for sex) circumstances. Of course there will be a set of rules to abide by. I'm not completely sure of what but I'm sure I can think of some on top of my head:

1. Must be hot. HOT HOT HOT
2. Must have own place (I'm not one for cars and the thrills you may get along with it)
3. Must have a ride (There is no way, I'm going to drive, he must pick me up)
4. Must be clean (disease free rather)
5. Must have good hygiene (If I can take 2 baths a day, I'm sure he could take 1 shower a day)
6. Must be single and have no sexual intercourse with another person
7. Must perform passionately, I hate one minute men
8. Must not be interested in being in a relationship anytime in the near future

That is the must important things I'm looking for, sure there is more involved, but these are all the criteria the man must meet before I even consider it his JFS status in the back of my mind.