Dignity for SALE

My dad is a jerk. No really, I really mean it. I have so much hate towards him that it's actually turning into self-hate knowing how I can be related to such a man. Not a man, the term "man" is too sacred and should not be used for a jerk. This man will die, and not one tear of mine will be seen. For what reason am I so bitter? I'm not bitter, but I've mourned his death when I was a child and he walked out on my family. A sick mother and an innocent daughter is what that coward left behind. How can I talk about my father in such a manner?! Well, surprisingly, not everyone wins the title "father". But surely, let me assure you one can win the title "coward". He left when I was 12, before then, he never gave a fuck about me either. I don't have much memory of him, either I totally wiped him out of my memory or my drugs inhabited my brain cells. I knew it was coming though, from an early age I would have extremely vivid dreams about my father. My father precisely. We were always driving him to the airport. He was always getting on a plane in my dream. I would see his plane leave also in my dreams. Surely, my dreams from a young age must have been a forecast of what was to come. He lives happily now. Seriously seems like a fairy tale for him. To leave and start new. His wife is younger than my sister. She takes computer courses and drives a new car and sports a $18,000 engagement ring. Does she work? No way! A princess never works. She shops though and we all know how much shopping can become tiresome. So working is out of the question. Anyhow, how does this rich lifestyle come to play? She's stealing everything I have. Well not directly, but she stole my father. He hasn't paid a month of child support. He left us when my mom was in the hospital. We weren't even able to pay for the rent nor food and my mom was devastated because of how dependent she was of him. She cried, possibly nonstop for 6 months from what I can recall. Ouch, it hurts to remember. But whatever. What happened between their marriage is their own personal business. However, what happened between him and I is completely uncalled for. Before he left, my mom asked him "how could you walk away from your family, not us, but your daughter", he looked over at me and replied "she's going to grow up to be a bitch anyways" Hm, at the age of 12 that is something you seriously don't need to hear. It does damage, creates deep scars. I begged him last month to help me out. He said he can't. He said I should get a job and I tried explaining that if he doesn't expect his wife to work because she needs to concentrate on how to use Microsoft word, then how difficult it could be for me to maintain both my studies and a job. How can he do that? How can he give my dignity to that woman. He pretty much is giving my dignity by giving what should be rightfully mine to her! I shouldn't think of whoring myself so I could support myself. You know, my father was right about one thing though.

I have grown to be a bitch because I have not been given the opportunity to be a better person. He should sincerely thank himself for selling his daughter's dignity.