Change my fortune

Never had someone to hold me and tell me everything will be okay

Allow me to cry and not ask me to stop; stay for a while and not go away

Miss me,Miss me,I bet you can't wait till you fuck me

So my significant other calls to say, "Lina, I just want you to know how much I miss you."

How do you respond to a comment when you don't miss them?

"I miss you too" I replied.

When a guy says he misses you, it usually means he's extra horny and can't wait to fuck you and he misses the fact that he can't wait to thrust his penis inside of you, instead of masturbating.

When a woman says she misses you, it usually is sincere and she actually misses you for what you are; not the dick you carry.

*`* JusT WaTcH Me BurN *`* 

Case of the EX

Hi Lina,
I just thought I would write you an email for the reason that something has to be clarified. I don't think you are a loser, I never have and I never will. The term "loser" was meant merely as a joke, it wasn't said in a literal manner. Seeing you the other night was overwhelming. For the past year I buried the feelings I have for you, and seeing you, as much as I resisted, brought them out. Things are looking bright in regards to my life, and future. Hopefully, one-day, I can share it with you. If not, then you're happiness is my happiness. If you are with someone else, I totally respect that, and I will not ask anything of you. Lina, you asked me what I thought of you. Well, the answer can only be that I think you are the most precious person I have met. You are so fragile and articulate, and that's what I makes me "fuzzy" when thinking of u. Take Care Lina... And just for reasons of pride, don't respond to this e-mail or mention it.

Take Care
Mike

You're love for me will Grow

Sunday is like ice cream. That is why they named it Sunday. What, you actually thought the name was given to the ice cream after a sunday? No way. I got up quite upset for whatever reason, I don’t know. It mostly had to do with last night and the way my significant other- treated me so insignificantly. What do I mean to him? Am I his bitch? Well, he is surely in for a rude awakening, believe me. I go out of my way to perform nice gestures and I feel used. Everyone says patience is key. He’ll change, he’ll get better. I truly believe, he takes me for granted. Because surely, without one doubt in my mind, I am the best thing that happened to this guy and he doesn’t appreciate it. Well, he’ll be crying for it once I’m gone. If I talk to him, communicate, he always says I overreact. Guys are so fucken fucked. Hana came over today. We went by the beach and smoked soooo much until I forgot how to inhale. We went to Wal-mart and bought junk food. I came home to find out it was my mother’s birthday. So there was more junk food on its way. I ate soooo much food that I honestly felt like sticking my finger down my throat. That’s not a good sign. Everyone commenting on my weight lose. Yes, it’s working already. Well, it must just get more hardcore from now on. Fasting two times a week and crazy amount of exercise will be exactly what I need. I think I really need to find a job. I hate working however. Hmm, we’ll see on Monday shall unfold.

Do you believe we can change the future?
Do you believe I can make you feel better?
Can we get together, I really, I really want to be with you
Come and check it out with me, I hope you, I hope you feel the same way too
 

Time

Let this moment be saved
Let this time to be ours

embrace me, touch me

hold me, but don't say you love me

false words bring destruction not triumph

all actions solve your words mysterious

you take what I give, and what I give is my all

it is you that makes me rise,
you will be my downfall

If time had a personality, it would surely match yours
it lies, it takes, and borrows what is never replaced

unlike time, I will keep my word

what I take, I give, I promise to return you
because the truth is that you have been replaced

Who decided for Saturday to be in the weekend?

Saturday is so cool! If I could be any day of the week, I'm defiantly be Saturday. My child's middle name could even be Saturday, that's how much I love Saturday! I get to sleep in, relax, and still look forward to another great day! Sunday! I woke up in the morning really anticipating to get a job." Today, I said, will be a great day!" I then remembered I had a facial appointment with my significant other. Fuck. I quickly ran out of bed to prepare for Saturday. The spa itself had won the Toronto best spa award. The facial was amazing ,however, the esthetician made me uncomfortable. She would continuously say, "OMG I am so jealous, you are so beautiful, I am not lesbian but I like beautiful girls, wow, your eyebrows are nice done, wow, your skin colour is very nice" By the time I got out there, my head couldn't fit through the door! (that's how big headed I got) Now I know how to get a great confidence booster. Just go get a facial. After the spa, my significant other and I went to Licks. He asked me what I wanted and I said "a grilled chicken salad". Nope. He ordered for me and got me a tropical delight salad. Whip cream with tangerine and lettuce and unions?!?!?!?! Let's not forget the nuts topping. It made me upset in a way that it wasn't like he was going to eat it. I think he just wanted to see how much influence he really had on me. After Licks I went home and decided to change. I promised him I would meet him a few hours later. At first, our evening plan was that we would go to a semi-formal. However, that didn't happen. I went over to his place and we enjoying each other for about 10 minutes when the phone rang. It was his father. Apparently he had forgotten a gift he had to give to his friend. So we got dressed and since he never introduced me to his parents, I left. He said he'd call me to tell me when to come back. I called my friend Ali, and he asked me to come over. I parked in his driveway and he came out. He was holding a joint so surely, it was a surprise trip to la la land. My significant other called me to tell me his parents were going to come home early. He didn't even say, okay lets go out or anything. Nothing! As if I went all that way to have him fuck me and me to make my 20 minutes journey back to my house. RRRRRRR!!! It's going to be fun to see how things will unfold because of this.

~*~* ToRonTo*~*~ 

Time goes by so slowly for those who wait

Friday is the day.
My day actually began at 10:30am. I woke up and realized I had only slept for three hours and was pretty tired. I went downstairs to find out my mom had an appointment with a specialist because of her eye. I got home around 3:00 from the specialist and decided to meet up with Fares. We went down by the beach and took a journey to another realm. We then decided to pay a visit to a local Denny’s restaurant. After that, I went to meet up with Hana and we proceeded to La la land again for a second time. I was exhausted by this time and arranged to meet Mazdak at Oasis (hookah place). We met there and had a blast. Mazdak is pretty cool even though I treat him like shit. After all was done, I went home and straight to bed...awww!! It felt so good! My significant other questioned my whereabouts last night. I was so tired I decided to turn off my phone so no one dares to wake me up from my sleep, and I didn't call him to say good night. He probably thinks something is up. Well, there isn't anything.

Here comes the Showdown, what goes around/comes around

Thursday was a new day.

The day started off pretty nasty when I went downstairs to say hi to my mom and found her left eye to be strangely red. I walked closer to her to realize that something was very wrong with her eye. Not being a medical doctor or in fact have any knowledge of optometry in my life, I arrived to a diagnosis I predicted that there was a burst of a blood vessel in her eye .Yes I was later found to have been correct when she went to the emergency to check it out. Afterwards, I met up briefly with Fares to wish him a happy birthday. I then met up with my significant other as we proceeded to the downtown core for a night of party-ing. We went to Paaeez (Hookah place) and had a few drinks. We couldn’t find parking so we parked on private property and stole the parking ticket the car behind of us got. We placed the parking ticket on our windshield (Yes, it was my idea!) As we proceeded back to the car, we noticed the car behind us got another ticket. We laughed. We didn’t end up getting a ticket and made the car behind us get 2! We went to this club called “Joe”. It was pretty fun after a whole lotta drinks. My significant other danced like Carlton (from Fresh Prince of Belair) and I just laughed because I saw everyone laughing at us, and it didn’t really bother me. If he happens to be a nerd, he’s my nerd and I love him. He introduced me to his university friends. One girl that my significant other introduced me to said in a drunken way, ‘Nice meeting you again”. Again?!!? I never saw her in my life. I thought my significant other was fucking around on me. So after hearing that, I replied, “Oh yes, you look very familiar, where was it that we met first?”
She said that we had met 2 weeks ago at a club. I had supposedly walked into the women’s washroom angrily and decided to vent to strangers. Surprisingly, I was discussing my uncomfortable night with my significant other and seeked her advice. The funny situation is that she didn’t know who my significant other was that I was venting about until I walked out of the washroom and my significant other recognized her (ironically they knew each other from school). The sad fact is that this is correct.
We left the club around 2am. Just before I got into my car, we stopped on Hana’s street (my car was parked in her driveway) and rocked my significant other’s van. Lots of room allowed maximum pleasure. It’s orgasmic just rewinding our love scenes in my day dreams. Just before saying goodnight my significant other turned to me and said, “Well Lina, I’m going to bed as soon as I get home, so we’ll talk tomorrow”. I took offence to that for a moment. It was obvious that I had a few drinks and him not wanting me to call him to say I got home safely made me upset. But that didn’t matter anyways, because I had plans. I wasn’t just about to end my night by going home. I called Mike, my ex boyfriend at 3 am and told him we were going to meet up. He didn’t believe me and told me to stop fucking around but I was about to show him how serious I was. We did meet up and I made him join me as I hot boxed in my car. We listened to “our” songs of “our’ times together. It brought back so many memories (Mike is my ex-boyfriend; we went out for 3 months last year) I dozed off a few times and would find that every time I opened my eyes, he would just be staring at me, playing with my hair. I didn’t want to do anything. It’s in moments like those that I show my strength and my love for someone. (Although I did cheat on Mike with one of my supply teachers in high school) I got irritated with his obsession over me, so I decided to go home. I got home and went to bed at 7:30 in the morning. He told me to call him when I get home safely. That’s called a man.

Mary Jane don't grow in vein

Wednesday was interesting,

I forced myself to get up in the morning with much difficulty! After our lecture, Jackie, Nisha, and I decided to light it up before lunch. I went back to attend my other lecture when I came across a pamphlet. It intrigued me because of the marijuana plant visible on the front. The title was "Marijuana Grow Home Operations"

I opened it to find myself facing a sign that read "DANGER!"woah, I thought, lets see the dangers involved are:
***********************************************************
DANGERS ASSOCIATED WITH A MARIJUANA GROW HOME

The marijuana that is produced is shipped to the U.S. and returns as laundered cash, guns, heroin and ecstasy.
(As if there is a ship that carries the marijuana, drops it off at the border of the U.S. and replaces the ship's cargo only with laundered cash, heroin and ecstasy)

Alterations made to a grow home may make the house uninhabitable for future residents without major repairs.
(Obviously a family is not going to live in a condition when there is a stskunkskink- like odor, use high-wattage lights, mould, mildew, or have wires running through the house. And plus, before some one decides to sell a house, they do renovations dah!)


There is a risk of violence and residential crime in neighborhoods linked with this illegal activity.
(Well, working under such "dangerous" conditions, I don't know about you, but I'd be pretty fucken pissed if someone smokes my stuff and doesn't pay me.)

Theft of electricity leads to higher utility bills for ALL paying customers.
(And that's because the energy companies are not taking it out of their pockets. If there is a loss, well then guess what? YOU'RE PAYING!)

Grow homes are 40 times more likely to have fires than normal homes.
(How often does a normal home go on fire? (0.004), Now, your chances are (0.044) with a grow home. Better be cautious! Those statistics are high!)

Shock and electrocution hazards can be created by illegal electrical bypasses charging the ground.
(Of course shock will occur if you are stealing wires from your neighbor's house, I'm sure you had to cut something from somewhere in order to move it and place it in your home)

Emergency responders are exposed to hazardous conditions.
(Do they get paid to stand around and look pretty? It comes along with the job description!)

Grow homes may be "booby-trapped" to injure or kill trespassers and emergency service workers.
(Who thinks of this booby-trap HomeAlone bullshit. These people need to stop watching so much PG-13 movies.)

As many as 10,000 children may have been in Ontario grow homes between 2000 and 2003.
(MAY have? So that could also mean as many as 10,000 children may not have been in Ontario grow homes)

********************************************

The night was fun! A bunch of my friends and I went to a hookah place before lighting it up. After we were done our little session, we went to Friendly Greek and had a plenty share of extreme laughs. My significant other called me around 12:45 am. I told him I missed him and it really is because I missed him. I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt that my significant other came to me to introduce his new girlfriend, which also happens to be his ex girlfriend. I slapped him. Woah, I never slapped anyone in my life before. I couldn't even believe it when I did it in my dream! I apoligized after I slapped him, if that makes any difference.

Here is what the dream dictionary thinks of this;

To dream that you slapped someone, suggests that you are harboring some deep anger and repressed rage.

It's so true. I don't know what to do.

oh no boy, is that your hand?

OMG, I'm so furious!

Remember how I said my significant other removed all the pics of us from his profile. Well, today while I was just looking through them, he has placed his ex-girlfriend's pictures up! Well, actually 30 people were in the pictures but 50% of all his pictures had his ex in them. With him putting his arm around her shoulder!!!! OMG, am I totally blowing this to another level, or is there something really really strange going on?!?! I think I should call him and tell him whats been bothering me, or perhaps I am asking for too much. I was thinking of brain washing myself not to believe I am in a relationship. That's exactly what I'm going to do from now. NO, I am not in a relationship. YES, I am extremely single. I insist you take my number ;)

Choke me, Spank me, Pull my hair

Wow, today was hectic.

I couldn't even wake up in the morning! Missed my morning lecture, fuck. I invested in a digital lithium scale today. This is my only friend that supports me losing weight. I made sure to take off all my clothes, before I stepped on the scale. I haven't weighed myself since early september. Then, when I first stepped on a scale, I was 131.5 lbs --- today, I stepped to find a surprise for sure! I stood there at ; 119.8lbs. hmmm 5'4 - 119.8 lbs. Not too bad. But not good enough. I am thinking my main focus for the month of January and Febuary should be to reach : 113 lbs. Gosh, this is beginning to sound like a Briget Jone's diary entry. Sameer and I went out by the lake tonight. I love going to la la land by there. We then went to Mr Greek, and after I decided to come home to clean my room!

Yes, Stand up for a change!

Here it is,

I've decided to do something for myself. That something is get rid of a few pounds. Yeah, I know you may think I'm crazy but I need a crazy change also. How many other colours are there left to dye my hair, not much. Another hair cut? No way! So this is what I want, and I want it to be a dramatic change. So I hope everyone will respect my decision and not throw food toward me. I wish I could get a personal trainer, atleast that way someone else would motivate me too. It's so hard to actually want to loose weight because no one around me agrees with that decision. Well, bottom line is this one is for me. I am doing this and going through with this. I won't say "oh a bite won't kill" because I'll then always be a bite away from my goal.
I'm learning how to pray. I want to learn so I can start being closer to God. What a surprise?!?!?! yes! Very unlike me but I'm changing as a person. So I've decided to fast also. Well thats more for my fat but God will understand.
My significant other just called me 2 minutes ago. I ignored his call. When we first started going out, I was always so happy to see his name on caller display and now I don't want to pick up his call unless he tricks me and calls private. I have to go help my sister move now. Sucks but it has to be done.

Mentally Obsessed with La La Land 

Oh wow, I'm a genius

I've realized something very important about myself. Whether I get a new job or I happen to be in school or I'm seeing someone...It is all fun and exciting within the first month and a half. After that, I guess you may say, I don't feel challenged? Or perhaps I don't want to focus on one thing for a long time. Regardless, if I can only convince and motivate myself to make it last 3 months and 1 day, then I know I'll do better. I didn't go to la la land the normal way today, I decided to use another method, even better. Today was a day filled with boring duties. I got new tires, got my oil changed (along with all those additional recommendation that they scare woman with) it actually works. Fuck. After Hana and I inhaled our ways to another time and place, I dropped her off at her place so I could go vote. Unfortunately, when I got to the voting booth, I couldn't recall who was the representative of my party of choice in my area. I placed a check mark next to the name most familiar to me. I drove home pondering where I saw that name before. I parked in the driveway to realize that the name I placed a check mark by happened to be the exact name on the sign on my lawn! And it wasn't my party of choice either!! Gosh, I really did it this time. How can I forgive myself for wasting a vote on a party I am totally against?! Remind me next time to not go voting. Last time I attempted to vote, everything went worong. I was very excited. Very excited until I ended up at a bar, drinking way over my limit and getting my nipple pierced. I probably missed my subway stop 4 times before I was conscience enough to walk off the train. It took me 6 hours to get home from the time I left the bar. I lived only 40 minutes away. My significant other called me 10 minutes ago. He sounded energetic . He said that the two girls from his school who bumped into us on our way to Ritiro on saturday night told everyone how hot and fucken beautiful his girlfriend is. Then he kept repeating the word "girlfriend" He said it sounds so special and wonderful that he could call me his girlfriend. Umm, sure okay.

My professor mentioned something in our lecture tonight that has captured my mind to an extreme intensity.
"The moment you begin to question, you can not stop"
that hit me hard. In my personal life, I've been questioning my significant other's stories, always trying to catch him in a lie. I want to actually stop questioning. If there is no answer for my question, I'll just allow everything to unfold, because the answer will oneday show.
I tried to catch my professor after the lecture. I asked him how I could stop questioning if I've already started ? He said it wasn't appropriate for him to give me an answer infront of other students and that I should personally see him in his office because it requires a discussion. Fuck again.
I read my horoscope today. I was given a complimentary newspaper for getting my oil changed at "Mr Lube". The horoscope was quite interesting actually, it read:
*************************************************************************************
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
CAPRICORN (Dec 22- Jan 20)
If you like your current situation, nothing need alter it. But if you are less than ecstatic about it, be re-assured. A process of constructive change has begun.
*************************************************************************************

Makes a lot of fucken sense. Scary.

Dirt on "us"

I continue to think about "us" a lot. Before I go to bed, I go to bed with this yucky feeling in my chest and even when I wake up, its really the same feeling. I don't know what I think about "us" anymore. If I could remove all these feelings, I would love to somehow, but I just don't think its possible. Usually, our telephone conversations have akward silences. Sure, its my fault. I know. I do things in my daily events which he would disapprove of tremendously.

Before I make a irrational judgement on our relationship as a whole, I must give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a 100% of me. I've been lying to him, making up so many stupid stories and if I stop that, only then do I have the right to say, yeah I gave him a 100% and I was not receiving it back and break up the relationship. He says he loves me, but I do not think he necessarily does. I believe he uses "I love you" to say, "Lina, I know shit is bad and I'm here and won't end this between us". So I was thinking, if I can avoid doing things he disapproves of, then we would have more to chat about when we call each other. So I think its final, trips to la la land must wait because I have many important issues to deal with. He does not like my trips to la la land, nor does he have any idea I used to go there daily. But today is a new day, and la la land is too far.

The bottom line of how I feel is this:

do I love him?: maybe

do I trust him?: no

do I think this will last?: no

Will I try my best to make it last?: yes

************************************************************************************

Last night I had a dream that I was throwing up uncontrollably. This is the definition that I got:

To dream of throwing up means either that you are getting sick, or that you will be connected with a scandalous rumor or situation. To see others throwing up, symbolizes that you will realize someone who seemed nice is actually lying to you.

I guess I am getting sick of the scandalous situation I'm in, nicely placed.

ladder 

What in the world has happened to the world?

Oh man, this is great. I just checked my significant other's profile, the profile that he absolutely adores. Well, when we first started going out, my pictures were plastered all over his profile and now, well, my pictures are no longer on his profile- he updated it today by the way. This makes me..hmm, furious?! Mad?! Angry?! Like honestly, I don't understand what the fuck his problem is. I just called him and I mentioned exactly in these words. "so I was just checking face-book and I love how you removed all of my pics." He response was, "yeah, um, well there is a reason for that." I said I had to go and quickly hung up. There is so much a person can take, so much, when so little is left. My patience is running...Very far.

Holy Sunday

(Picture on the left: Me & Hana)
Today is was another weird and wacky day. Hana and I decided to call Fares so that he could smoke us. I finally returned the two DVD's I had since September 23rd. I guess I was just intimidated to return past due movies, so I never returned them at all! I got Hana to return them actually and we planned if the person asked where I was, to tell them I was sent to Afghanistan because of my arranged marriage. Yes, we're fucked! So After the DVD's were sent, we decided to introduce ourselves to la la land by the beach. We drove to the beach, and parked where the lake could be seen over the hill. We listened to Coldplay's "Picture" song, while we drifted to another world. It was awesome. Hana and I went back to my place as we smoked orange shisha. I just remembered the other day when we went to Swiss Chalet to eat. Surely, it was after a nice session of the good stuff. We got back to the car after dinner to realize I double parked. I guess 1 parking space just wasn't enough! That's what I call VIP service.

The Night is Young & The Day is Old

Saturday was an unusual day, as everyday is for me. I decided to call up one of my friends, Fares, whom I haven't seen in 2 years. You see, back in high school, on any given day, Hana, Fares, Arman, and I would chill at lunch time and do retarded things. Anyhow, I wanted to make those days a reality once again. So I first started off by picking up Fares (To my surprise, he lives 4 minutes away from me!) Then I went to surprise Hana with this reunion. Finally we picked up Arman and proceeded to our old high school's parking lot for a nice hot box. After doing a session, Fares took out his glow stick and went outside in the cold, starting to do is tricks. It was so funny! We decided to go to a hookah place and smoke some shisha. I then decided to call my significant other and try to surpass all the bullshit we faced the past week. Our relationship was unsteady, he felt like he has lost me. But I still love him dearly. He was dressed sharply when he came to pick me up. I just remember hugging him and feeling how much I have missed him. We went downtown, there was a place in which he heard had good Spanish dishes. The place was called Ritiro or something (can't recall exactly) We had so much food, along with some Stella. It was a blast. After the place, my significant other wanted to go to hookah place called Paaeez, very lavish. Since the wait was too long, we just decided sneaked into his office and make love. Lovely.

A lie unfolds to nothing but the truth

It was on the 18th of January when my significant other called me. It was in the evening, just after I got off the phone with Mazdak (trying to get him to say shit about my significant other if my last night’s plans back fire) Mazdak said he didn’t like to get involved until I mentioned Maggie’s name. So how is Maggie doing I asked in a mysterious tone. He remained silent for a moment, then he asked me, "what you know about Maggie?" My reply was simply that I didn’t want to get involved, as it was; it was none of my business. Mazdak then knew he had to either spill the beans or he wouldn’t get a word out of me.
“Lina, I’ll call you back in 10 minutes and I’ll tell you all, if you tell me all” he said.
“Sounds good to me”, I replied.
You see Mazdak is not stupid, in fact he’s really smart, and he deserves more credit than I’ve ever given him. I believe it was then we hung up the phone that Mazdak called Maggie asking her about the connection we had together. Surely, then Maggie told Mazdak the story about how I fainted because of the remarks that Mazdak said (which he really never did) Presumably, I believe my significant other somehow found time to discuss this matter with Maggie, about the previous night events (About me fainting).
Mazdak called me back. It took longer than the initial 10 minutes promised, but a call back guaranteed me enough back up if things went wrong and if somehow my significant other found a flaw in my story. So it was a sign of relief when I saw Mazdak’s name on my caller display. I answered, he started. He really gave it to me. Bitched at me for including his name into my daily drama series, questioned my perception of him and if he really lacked that much knowledge. I couldn’t believe he found out! How on earth did this happen, but I knew now the grounds beneath us were unsteady. I had to find out how the word got to him without directly asking because he would know that I’m still trying to get information out of him. First I started with the begging, “Pleaseeee Mazdak tell me who said all of this!” When that approach didn’t work, I began with the shouting, “Mazdak, tell me now!!!!” That didn’t work either, so I began with the threats, “Mazdak, I swear if you don’t tell me, I’ll never talk to you again!” Nope, no success there either. So I said indirectly, “Why would my significant other tell Maggie of my private life?” He replied!
“See, Lina, I don’t know why he does”
YES!!! I now knew how the information was being passed. It seems as if my significant other called Maggie on the 18th and told her of what happened to even make Mazdak look worse, so she doesn’t pay any attention to him!
I hung up the phone with Mazdak to ponder the situation I have placed everyone in. It was then that I received a call from an Mike, ex boyfriend of mine. We dated for about 2 months and broke up last March. I answered the phone and sat in silence for 10 minutes while he went rambling on.
“Lina, I love you, I’ve been with so many girls and I haven’t felt anything like the way I felt with you, your amazing, you don’t know how much you mean to me, I love you, and I would do anything to have you with me or for you to even say that there is hope for us from a year from now. Anything you want, I will give you.” And he continued to ramble on.
It actually made me ponder. How would life be like with Mike? The guy he was well off, getting an education, had a wonderful family, most of all, he was a man.
But my pondering was cut short when I realized I didn’t have the patience for such an idiot.
“Listen, Mike, you are a great guy and sure I had fun while we were together but things have changed and I am seeing someone” I replied
“But Lina, listen for a sec, I know this sounds really not like me, but I don’t mind being second to they guy your dating” Mike said.
Wow, I defiantly knew this conversation was going nowhere, the last thing I need is to have someone cling on me.
I quickly told him I had to go and I would think about what he said.
I sat for another moment, shaking my head on the past two day’s events. So much has happened; there was no way more issues could come our way.
My significant other rang me.
I answered.
“Hey, Lina, you would never guess what happened today!” he said.
Oh great I thought, what is next?
“Well, you see Maggie called me today when I was heading to my lecture and she said she had to show me something on her agenda. So I told her she would have to meet me in my lecture hall. So anyhow, she came all the way to show me what is on her ‘to do’ list, and I looked down to read it when the last thing said, “To kiss *******” (my significant other’ name was on her to do list) so she totally leaned over to kiss me when I told her that what she was doing was not appropriate and she took things to another level.”
Hmmm, interesting
When me and my significant other started dating, he met her downtown once, went to watch a movie with her, and God knows what else. In fact, when my significant other and I were at a club and Maggie happened to be there, he didn’t introduce me until I told him to!
Now, I knew where this was heading, I was very upset so my response to this was,”well, if I were in Maggie’s position and you were nice and treated her the way you did and went out of your way to do what you did, I would be stupid enough to think you like me as well!”
His respond was this “Lina, you take back what you’ve just said or else we cant’ see each other”
Fuck, why was I getting flash backs of 3rd grade.
“No I am not going to take it back, why should I take back how I feel about a situation.”
Bottom line here was he made me take it back. Fuck.
So supposedly after he told Maggie she got the wrong impression, she ran off crying.
So I made sure I figure out when my significant other spoke to Maggie about the night before events.
“Baby, I have a question for you, when did you speak to Maggie about last nights events?” I asked.
“When she tried to kiss me””Oh, so you managed to tell her, right after she broke in tears and ran off?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, sounds good” I replied.
We said our good nights and I was beginning to unfold the truth about the man I supposedly cared so much about
Tune into- Tomorrow’s Blog, for more of this crazy story!!!

LooK Close 

Oops! Did I really do it again?!

Well, I guess you may call me a sort of drama queen at certain points in a month. I suppose sometimes it’s important for me to understand and see what certain people’s reactions would be to any given situation. The plot for Tuesday nights (Jan 17th) was to see the reaction of my significant other if I fainted and his reaction to me being in hospital. So my best friend Hana and I decided to make up a story as sad as it seems (plus with the fact that we were extremely high and bored!) about my friend Tina making a negative comment about my significant other. And to stir things up a bit more, we’ve decided to mention Mazdak’s name (a friend of mine, which my significant other really doesn’t like) and said that Mazdak totally disagrees with us being in a relationship and I couldn’t handle it, my blood pressure dropped and yes, I fainted. Wow, I know what you’re thinking, this girl is out of her mind for making up such a crazy story but the truth is I needed to know how he’d react in this situation. Let’s see if he really means what he says. So my significant other called my cell phone and Hana answered and told him the story, “blah, blah, blah”. And his reaction was sweet, he seemed to care. The next hour, I called him myself and I sounded hesitant about expressing myself, just to make it believe. Anyhow, my significant other starting pondering and said “Oh, this seems far fetched, but I know the possibilities of why Mazdak would say that about me. You see, I was with my friend Maggie today, when Mazdak called her cell and I happened to be there. (What are the chances!!! Ironically, Mazdak hits on Maggie at the club and takes her number and calls her when she’s with my significant other) After Maggie got off the phone with Mazdak, My significant other made a note to tell Maggie that Mazdak is an horrible guy. (Why on earth would someone say that?) My significant other thought perhaps Mazdak found out that he totally talked shit about him and tried to break us up by calling Tina to make sure the news gets to me that my significant other is a horrible person. I couldn’t believe my ears as I was listening to him talk. Everything somehow, miraculously was placed together so perfectly, it was unbelievable how such a story tied in together from two girls being too high and filled with crazy ideas. The story gets crazier and crazier! Tune into tomorrow’s blog for more!!

Comfort Zone

Janet Jackson - All for you
--------------------->Some songs allow me to feel at peace. If the world were to fall apart and I were to listen to these songs, I truly believe the sun would rise and shine on me. It isn't anything special, don't have a clever form of lyrics, and the beats surely doesn't play repetitively in my head, over and over and over again. It's just when I hear it, it reminds me of how it used to be and how I was filled with hope, with innocence, life was filled with so many possibilities and now it's been replaced with responsibilities and drama and defiantly no hope. Trust no longer exists either, it’s a dog eat dog world. It seems as though everyone has turned completely into vicious animals, trying to get the best for themselves.